Navigating In-Laws and Financial Relationships: A Guide for Young Couples

Young couples often face unique challenges when integrating family dynamics, particularly when dealing with in-laws. The issue of financial dependence and contributions can sometimes cause tension. This guide will explore the common scenarios, provide expert advice, and offer practical solutions to navigate these situations effectively.

Understanding the Role of In-laws

In-laws often play a significant role in a young couple's life, offering support and occasionally providing financial assistance. The dynamics of this relationship can be complex, especially when there are differing expectations about financial contributions.

Addressing Financial Control and In-Laws

When a mother-in-law interferes in your life, one of the common issues is the request to give a portion of your salary. You ask, “Why does my mother-in-law interfere in my life and ask me to give some part of my salary every month? My salary is low and my husband keeps supporting her.” It's important to approach this situation with understanding and communication.

If She Asks for a Small Portion of Your Salary

If the amount requested is around 25%, and she is guiding you in a positive manner, it might not be a bad idea to give it to her every month. This approach can help her feel valued and supported. Another option is to open a Recurring Deposit in her name with yourself as the nominee. This can make her feel that you have taken on a commitment, thus making her happier. When the monthly instalments become a significant sum, gift it to her in kind. This shows that you have taken responsibility and are contributing to the household.

Dealing with In-Law Intolerance

The first part of your question, about your mother-in-law interfering in your life, might stem from her perception that you need guidance and rules from her. She might consider you as her child and wants to ensure you follow the family norms. Unfortunately, you might not view her as a core family member due to your own experiences.

Mom in Law and Family Dynamics

If your mother-in-law insists on receiving a portion of your salary, you might think, “My salary is low and my husband keeps supporting her.” Here's what you should consider:

Is it inappropriate for you to earn and support your family? Earning is for the family and necessities, not just for personal benefit. Low or high income is subjective and depends on the family's needs. People usually earn money for the family, not just for themselves. If you are part of the household and are contributing to its needs, you should eschew the notion of ‘giving’ part of your salary. She is likely asking for a small part as a gesture to help the family.

She might just be making sure you realize your responsibility in the household. If you view her as a member of your family, the issue might diminish significantly. Don't take it too personally and consider her involvement as a positive connection within your family.

Building a Positive Family Relationship

Building a positive and respectful relationship with in-laws is crucial. Here are a few tips to maintain a balanced and harmonious family environment:

Emphasize mutual respect and understanding. Treat her as a family member and not just an outsider, which can help alleviate stress and tension. Promote open and honest communication. Address any issues directly and respectfully, avoiding misunderstandings and resentment. Encourage her to feel valued and appreciated, even in small ways. This can strengthen your bond over time.

Conclusion

In today's complex family dynamics, navigating in-laws and financial relationships can be challenging. By understanding their role, addressing financial contributions, and fostering mutual respect, you can ensure a harmonious and supportive family environment. Remember, the goal is to work together for the betterment of all family members.