Can Individuals with Asperger's Syndrome Live Happily in Marriage and Relationships?

As an individual with Asperger's syndrome, I often wonder if it is possible to live happily and successfully in a marriage or relationship. This article aims to explore the experiences of those with Asperger's, addressing questions about emotional regulation, love, and affection.

Personal Experiences and Diagnosis

After getting diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome a year ago, I realized I had been living with these traits all along, albeit in a traditional life and marriage. My journey to finding a partner was also characteristically traditional; my mom famously said, 'If you make it to a second date, that’s the one you marry.' Sure enough, that's exactly what happened. However, one of the biggest challenges in my marriage is emotional dysregulation. I experience meltdowns and sometimes struggle with full-time employment, which can be a heavy burden for my husband.

Challenges and Coping Mechanisms

With Asperger's syndrome, we might face more complex and challenging situations than the average person. However, it is crucial to remember that not all individuals with Asperger's are alike. Some might find certain aspects easier, while others might struggle more. My story is far from unique; many others have gone through similar experiences.

Some individuals might not know they have Asperger's until diagnosed later in life, and this realization might not change their life significantly. For me, it didn't make a huge difference in the number of children I had or the number of relationships I pursued. However, it did provide a framework for understanding my own behavior and emotions.

The Pillars of Love and Relationships

Despite the challenges, it is entirely possible to fall in love, get married, and even have children. Love, especially in a relationship, is not solely about physical attraction or moments of tenderness. For me, love goes beyond the superficial. It involves genuine connection and mutual understanding, even at times when my emotional state is unstable.

In my relationship, I was married to a man who was interested in my father's wealth, which ultimately led to a divorce. However, the experience of having a difficult ex-husband and then experiencing sadness over a friendship turning into a failed relationship has taught me that love can be profound and enduring. Meeting a partner through mutual interest and shared passion has been a rewarding journey, despite the bumps along the way.

Concluding Thoughts

Yes, we can fall in love, get married, and have children. While the path might not be plain sailing, the rewards are immense. Emotional regulation is a challenge, but with support and understanding, it is possible to navigate these difficulties. Love and affection are deeply human experiences, and they transcend the specifics of any condition, whether it is Asperger's syndrome or any other.

As we continue to live and thrive, it is essential to recognize that emotional intelligence and support are key factors in building and maintaining successful relationships. Whether you are living with Asperger's syndrome or not, these fundamental human connections can bring immense joy and fulfillment.